10-10-10

i feel like i should really flood myself with a lot of things that i should be thankful for in order for me to move past all the negativity and hurt and pain that i have wallowed into...while it's true that what's important is the present, i find it hard to just forget the past (for now..maybe because i'm still hurting)..but i also always remind myself that i have so much blessings in my life so who am i to complain...

note to self:  these are blessings enough...
1.  I have a family full of love for each other.
2.  The simple laughter we share
3.  My children learning the importance of prayer and living with it everyday
4.  Holding a weekly family prayer (i know it should be every night..we're working on that)
5.  A car which makes it easier for us to go from one place to another
6.  Good health for all of us
7.  Friends  which make my life meaningful and fun
8.  A good job for my husband which allows me to just stay at home and take care  of the whole family
9.  our supportive family back home (in the Philippines)
10.  Food on the table everyday

maybe i should print this and post it somewhere i could see it often..  =)

God wants you to know...

... that to love is to be vulnerable. Love is the opening of the heart, the welcoming of your beloved. Loving is not secure, authentic loving is risky. Security lies behind the walls of a closed heart. You either invite the union by opening in love, or you secure the isolation by closing down.

 saw this on facebook and i find it very true...for there is no greater feeling than love..from it every good thing stems out! =)

  have a loving day everyone!

birthdays,minor problems and happy endings...

i have a feeling this will be a long post if i'll write it in paragraph form so i've opted for bullets =)

• 5:00pm we are preaparing to go out of the house for a quick errand then we're supposed to go to a friend's birthday dinner
• 5:30pm electricity went off..hubby checked the switch, breaker, etc..then found out only our unit's electricity is out.
• 6:00pm we quickly got dressed - original errand was aborted..
• 6:30pm left the house to go to another friend's house. PLAN: Enan will just drop us off then he will go to our flat's AKARI (real estate office) to report the problem
• 6:45pm we're already at our friend's place..hubby then decided to just attend the party with us and we'll just leave early to go to AKARI together
• 7:45pm already at the party..see photos =)

worry-free, hehe

•   9:45pm left the party..on our way home, hubby called the AKARI office about our situation. they assured us they're going to send someone to check..
•   10:45pm still waiting for the electrician. SCENE: we're all in our receiving area, total darkness, we left our front door open.  a friend keeps on calling to check on us and insists we stay at their place for the night..
• 11:10 AKARI informed us that only the Electric company can fix the problem since we're the only unit without electricity.. we tried to call Saudi Electric Company but couldn't get through..hubby decided to just take the matter in his own hands and called an electrician within the area.
• 11:45 ELECTRICITY'S BACK! thank you God! =)

        turns out there's another breaker in the building we didn't know about and it tripped..yeah! it just tripped..and all the electrician had to do was to push it up.  TOINK!!!

        What matters is we learned not to stress ourselves too much..and the fact that we have friends who are really concerned for us and are willing to help out somehow made all things a bit easy..
God is truly amazing...He really makes a way! =)

note: my story-telling skill sucks, haha...

if ever i have realized something over the past 2 weeks, it would be that  1.  whenever life seems difficult the only way to lift yourself up is to look at all the positive things that surround you   2. prayer is a powerful tool because the only one who can  truly  console you is God   and 3. accept that you are weak and that you couldn't handle things alone..the moment you claim this, it's when simple miracles happen, like feeling better, hehe  =)

it's Thanksgiving Thursday again..Hurray! =)

i'm thankful because..
1.  it's weekend already, yey!
2. Ramadan is just around the corner, so it means hubby will only be out for work for about 6 hours, 9:30am-3:30pm..i love ramadan, hehe...
3.  tomorrow will be another session for Couples For Christ's Christian Life Program..
4.  i'm still breathing..
5.  there are lots of amazing mommy bloggers out there who share inspiring posts, consciously or unconsciously, and i'm learning  a lot from them =)


speaking of mommy blogs..come join Mama Hen of www.mamaslittlechick.blogspot.com in her new brainchild http://www.mamaslittlenestwork.com/ where you can meet wonderful mom bloggers..

and i would also like to thank the awesome mom behind http://blog.cassiopeiachats.com/ for sharing with me her Versatile Blogger Award...

yey! things like this make me happy =)

love is the answer...

After wallowing over something and worrying of things to come, i think it's about time i face life and all its glory and see its real beauty.  after all, what i cried buckets of tears for are things of the past and what's important is the good things God has to offer. 

It's Mama Hen's Thanksgiving Thursday over at her blog mamaslittlechick.blogspot.com and i feel like i'm okay and well enough to appreciate the things i value the most or even the littlest things i have..

i'm very much thankful for...

1.  the love that we have within our family (my love for my husband and his love for me and our love for our 3 wonderful children and how they show they love us back)..
2.  the kind of person God has made me to be (weak yet strong, ironic huh?)
3.  this scripture which somehow helped me through the week
     "You will hear but not understand, for your hearts are too fat and your ears don't listen and you have  closed your eyes against understanding. For you don't want to see and hear and understand and turn to me to heal you." Acts 28:26
4.  the kind of life we're living right now
5.  peace of mind and heart...

Life is good and i'm sure we all know it..we;re just blinded by our own fears..hehe...

Oh, and here's the 6th one..i'm thankful for this award Mama Hen shared with me! i'm a little bit shy though as i don't consider myself foxy (blushing!), haha..

feels so good...

I'm so happy today!!!

I woke up early to prepare a lot of things because this is going to be a very busy day for the whole family. The kids will be joining Kids Camp later. It'll be their first social activity here in Riyadh. Despite juggling lots of chores, here I am typing away in my blog bacause i'm so excited..the wonderful Mama Hen of mamaslittlechick.blogspot.com (such an AWESOME mommy blog, i tell you) gave me the Cherry On Top Award! YEY!!! I just couldn't let this moment pass! =)

I have to thank the one who gave me this award: I'm telling you Mama Hen, THANK YOU is not enough..let me extend to you a big HUG =)


I believe I have to write down 3 things i love about myself so here it goes...
1. I love having this kind of family, i am truly blessed..not everyone gets to experience this kind of bliss in family life =)
2. I love that I have a very strong relationship with God - I know that He gave me all these wonderful blessings which I am enjoying now..
3. I love that I'm a loving and kindhearted person (tell me if you think otherwise, hehe)..

Then I need to post a picture that I love (can i make that 2?)

I love this picture with my Grandmother..she and my grandpa live with us =)
notice her forcing a smile..this was the day that the kids and I left the Philippines (look at the mess behind us)..Whenever we'd call she always says she misses the kids so badly..
(FACT: My "LOLA" slept beside me since i was a little girl 'til the day she had to pass the torch to my husband, hehe)


This is my dearest "LOLO" (grandpa)..He taught me a lot of things..
Back in the Philippines, he would always buy stuff for the boys =)

so there...now i have to pass this award to another five...
I would love to pass it on to Mommy Neel of beingzaraandzidan.blogspot.com, the ladies of thepinktarha.blogspot.com, Miss Leah of leahtaas-infocus.blogspot.com, Denise of denisekatipunera.blogspot.com, and Indiana of adoredaustin.com
These are fabulous women with great blogs!!! =)

Now i need to get back to work...superfast! =)

of contemplation and confusion then just plain gladness...

i haven't been in the mood to blog lately (but i still managed to religiously read mom blogs and fashion blogs during those days) because my husband and i have been contemplating on moving to a new home... after several days of careful thinking, we decided to just stay where we are for a while and maybe just give the move a go by next year..anyway, the only problem that we have with our current place is the parking area, other than that, we're in a homey, comfortable nook..

i was really feeling gloomy until mommy Neel of beingzaraandzidan.blogspot.com gave me this award! It really cheered me up..a big heartfelt thank you again to you mommy Neel..being a mom becomes an extra wonderful role when you get to share the experience to other moms in the whole-wide world! =)



another thing that lifted my spirit up was when my cousin posted our childhood pic (circa 1982-1983) in facebook..i must say i had my fair share of tears and laughters during my younger years but i generally had a happy childhood! i'm the girl in the middle..the only boy in the photo is my younger brother.. =)



i know for sure that things will get better in the coming days....

emotera: am i turning into a manic-depressive freak?

there are days when i just feel stuck here (and these episodes usualy happen when the kids are still all asleep)..just earlier today i was on the verge of crying..good thing the phone rang and it was my husband. somehow that heavy feeling subsided a little bit..just a little bit.

in as much as i value facebook, blogs and all other networking sites (since they are the only social association i have) there are times when they depress me..i see faces of people, places others have been to and recent get-togethers which i/we don't normally experience..

i feel like there are so many things going on in the outside world and here i am, facing a wall and tomorrow it will be like this all over again. =(

mommy madness

i have to admit..no matter how devoted i am in taking care of my kids and my husband, there comes a time when i feel burnt out..like i need a little shopping to lift my spirits up..hehehe...

here are some images I got from the web which put a smile on my face this morning because they somehow represent who i am, what i love and what matters to me most in life..the chaotic, catastrophic, mad but joyful, fulfilling and blessed (in so many, many ways) world of mommyhood!

for the past three years that i have been in and out of riyadh, ksa i have nothing but good experiences to tell-from the people, the culture, the weather and other expats living and working here .. but just recently, i indirectly encountered some sort of discrimination (not from a saudi local but from an egyptian-i think-).

my husband and i took the kids to jarir bookstore, the kingdom's number one chain of bookstore (in the Philippines it's counterpart is National Bookstore), to shop for school supplies. we always go to jarir to buy office stuffs and we even bought our laptops there .. so i can say i'm well at ease with the place. as we stepped foot at the second floor, the kids and i headed towards the children's section while my husband split from us yet he still had his eye on us. little did i know that we were being followed by this male sales associate and really gawking at us meticulously (as what my husband observed) .. i didn't notice it 'cause i was too busy with the kids. when my husband approached me he told me what he saw .. i tried to keep my cool since we really need to get some supplies. then again, this SA was there, observing us. my husband wasn't able to control himself and approached the guy. he spoke to him in english but it seems like the SA doesn't know how to converse in english so he called a fellow SA who is a filipino .. my husband told him what happend and the filipino SA tried to explain that maybe the egyptian SA was training the newbie.my husband told him the discriminating gestures of the egyptian SA and later apologised. now why did my husband and i (later on) feel so bad and diminished? because SAs in jarir are there to assist customers but they would never be near them unless asked .. that's the SOP there .. so why in the world would this guy follow us and look at us as if we're going to shoplift? i really felt like crying that night .. sigh .. i just keep telling myself that these things really do happen, not just to us-to some, even worse .. oh well .. when will we ever have equality? = (

pic: me inside jarir bookstore (malaz) way back 2008

of thinking too much...

why is it that happiness is superficial? why do i oftentimes see my life as sad when everything is in its right place? why is it easy for me to be so affected? can't i just live my life without thinking of other people? can i just don't mind them?

come to think of it, you cannot please everybody..even the kindest of the kindest will always have people against them or those who are being friendly friends with them but say bad things once they turn their backs.

oh well, life is too short to worry and to defend yourself from a battle which hasn't started yet..

ok, i'll let it slide and not dwell on negativity anymore...besides, it's time for me to think about what hassles might happen in our flight next week..TOINK!!!

IN THE PHOTO: my youngest 4 years ago..i wish i'm like that now..he seems so carefree and happy!!! =)

(emotera) women: because we care about so many, we have to take care of ourselves!

i truly and honestly believe that women are the stronger sex than men. yes, physically we do have our limitations but other than that, we can totally stand on our own unlike them.

two years ago, i remember waking up in the middle of the night with so much pain. i tapped my husband and told him about what i was feeling. eyes half-closed, he immediately told me "magpray ka" (say a prayer) then he went back to sleep. i cried that night..because i felt like no one cares for me =(. The next morning, I told him about what happend and we just laughed about it. It became a running joke between us eversince - telling each other "magpray ka" everytime one gets sick..

there was this tv commercial with a line saying "Pag nanay ka, bawal magkasakit" (if you're a mom, you have no right to get sick) - and that's true, atleast for me. When I don't feel well, i still manage to do things inside the house, even if we have someone to help us out. Just last week, i had a terrible case of colds..but after taking 2 tablets of bioflu, i got better after 2 days - take note: i didnt really have ample rest during that time. I still wake up early in the morning to prepare breakfast, etc..i even managed to do the laundry.

now, my husband's down with a flu ( for 2 days now). He's in bed right now, sleeping like a baby.. i haven't had enough sleep for 2 nights now because i'm constantly monitoring him. i'm just like that when one of our children or my husband is sick..i stay up all night to check on them. Plus, my husband acts like a child whenever he's sick, haha..so imagine how hurt i was when he just told me to pray when i was sick, lol...he doesn't fail to show his appreciation for my taking care of him though..As tired as i am, i'm not complaining..because it feels good that someone needs me, someone relies on me - kaya bawal magkasakit!!! =)

sweet escape

I wish when i'm depressed I could say I don't have the appetitie to eat because that is so not the case with me..my appetite doesn't get affected by how I feel.
Today i feel super sleepy..i don't know why..i've had a good amount of sleep last night though..so I was wondering why i keep on hitting the sack almost the whole day today.. i must have slipped in slumberland around three to four times.
What is so unusual today that I feel so lazy and heavy? Then it hit me..earlier in the day I received an email about our ringnecks back in the Philippines. They flew away because their nest was somehow rotten because of the constant rain. I was sad this morning.. that's it! That's the reason why i kept on sleeping.
I realized that my coping mechanism to sadness is 'sleep' - i can recall so many instances wherein i just sleep and sleep after i cry so hard..it's as if the pain goes away atleast temporarily..
so what about you? what is your escape from sadness? =)